Read this: Precision Nutrition

A damn good article on how to combat those snacky feelings!

Summary: In this article we explore how you can actually “feel hungry” but be experiencing a totally different emotion instead.  We also share a dozen strategies for dealing with the mystery of “mysterious hunger.”

Find it here!

September 29

GOTD: do not pre-plan calories.

6a-GF pancakes w/ honey, 2 chick saus, c reg, Met, fish oil, multi
730a-c reg
830a-1.5c decaf w/ cinn, oz almonds, chick saus, pb cookie
9a-1.5c decaf
115p(PWO)-12 almonds, GF pancakes, plum, fish oil, multi
4p-grape tomatoes, celery, granola
630p-6oz chicken, bell pepper w/ hummus, few peanuts, fish oil, multi
845p-pint Arctic Zero
9p-Met, yeast, reds, NC, 5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl

Totals: 2349 cal, 85g fat (18 sat), 269g carbs (37 fiber), 134g protein

This is higher than maintenance, but I had two strikes against me:
1) I had a MASSIVE blood sugar crash right after my PT appointment. I am talking full-body sweating, shakes, nausea, the works. So as soon as I got to work, I started inhaling all nearby food. Feeling like that, the brain's logic short-circuits. Hence, a GD cookie that, while dairy-free, was not grain-free. Eff.
2) My post-work-workout (running hills) was thwarted by a too-large to-do list, which led to me turning to food to soothe my anger/frustration. Damn wedding weekend is here, and I just didn't have time to get everything packed & ready AND run for an hour. Hence, diving into the granola, when oats typically sit in my gut like lead. And also the pint of Arctic Zero when I still haven't determined that whey protein is okay. Again: no brain logic.

So here I am, the day before the wedding, weighing in up FOUR POUNDS since Monday morning. Yes, it's water weight, not fat, thus not a long-term problem. But I'm thinking short-term right now. I'm thinking super snug size 4 bridesmaid dress all day tomorrow, in which I'd really like to be able to take deep breaths...never mind eat. Oh, woe is me and my conflicting goals!

The plan: two workouts today, and eat very low carb: protein + green veggies and that's pretty much it. And drink water, water, water, as if I just left the dessert. This is how you shed water weight, but...this should have been my diet all GD week. Want more details and perhaps some science? Read this.

I gave serious consideration to a fast day, but did I mention I'm doing two workouts? And I ain't talking anything easy: Spartacus 1.0 this morning w/ Joy AND Victoria's Revenge at noon. While tomorrow is a full rest day, I am planning a nice long trail run on Sunday; this requires a fully-fueled recovery from each workout so the run feels fan-flippin-tastic. Again: woe is me and my conflicting goals!

Wish me luck.

September 28

GOTD (it’s back, baby!): plan a meal out w/ Hop. Nice way to dive back into the GOTD, with something super simple! Hop getting a couple free meals this weekend, by virtue of being married to a bridesmaid, but I'd say that doesn't quite count. I bought a gift card to Sunsets at last week's silent auction (United Way fundraiser) and I think we'll be using that sometime next week. Before he disappears to become a manure pumper and I don't get to see him for a month!

5a-fr egg, chick saus, slice GF toast, c reg, fish oil, multi, Met
550a-almond milk latte
10a-egg bake, chick saus
12p-iceberg, cukes, grape tomatoes, sunflower seeds, ham, mixed roasted veg
215p-few strips celery, grape tomatoes, half apple
3p-krill oil, multi
315p-med apple, 2s Sunbutter
6p-9oz steak, onions & peppers & shrooms, fish oil, Met, multi, reds, yeast
9p-NC, 5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl

Totals: 2150 cal, 111g fat (21 sat), 149g carbs (35 fiber), 141g protein

September 27

5a-2 fr eggs, chick saus, c reg, Met, fish oil, multi
7a-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, flavor drops
8a-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, flavor drops, egg bake
10a-tangerine, T Sunbutter
1130a-12 almonds
1p(PWO)-6oz chicken stir fry
245p- krill oil, multi
545p-handful popcorn
7p-chicken, tomato, “cheese,” honey mustard, GF toast, tomato w/ balsamic, fish oil, multi, Met, reds, yeast
9p-NC, Tyrosine, 5HTP, Benadryl

Totals: 1790 cal, 86g fat (13 sat), 142g carbs (29 fiber), 106g protein

September 26

Making the connection of too much food = angry guts, one more reason my brain ought to be able to control my eating level. Seriously, angry guts lingered all day.

And at noon, I received the best email ever: I was notified that I was accepted into the Boston Marathon. HOLY FUCKING SHIT I get to run Boston! I am BESIDE MYSELF over being accepted. I made the cutoff by a teeny tiny 11 seconds. Stop & think about that: 11 seconds slower, over 3.5+ hours, and I wouldn't have made it in. Unfuckingreal. Amazingly, I celebrated this without food! I definitely had the initial impulse, but I then had two immediate thoughts:
1) Going out to eat sucks with the dairy/grain issue.
2) I need to learn to celebrate without food.

Instead, I left work early (FOUR PM! Still 9.5 hours of work, though.) and ran hills. Then at home, I watched a movie w/ Hop. Again, I did NOT celebrate w/ food, nor did I feel like I didn't properly celebrate! That right there is quite an achievement.

5a-fr egg, 2 turkey dogs, c reg, fish oil, Met, multi
550a-c reg
730a-1.5c decaf w/ flavor drops
845a-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, flavor drops
1p-6oz chicken w/ Rotel, krill oil, multi
4p-med apple, 2T Sunbutter
6p-4oz pork tenderloin, .25c sweet potato, T Bayou Bourbon glaze, fish oil, Met, multi, reds, yeast
7p-can Zevia, baked apple w/ cinnamon, honey, chocolate PB2
9p-NC, 5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl

Totals: 1251 cal, 51g fat (10 sat), 123g carbs (22 fiber), 85g protein

Dieter's apple pie? I don't know what to call it, but this little dessert was truly delicious & satisfying:
-Dice & microwave an apple.
-Sprinkle it w/ cinnamon, t honey, & T chocolate PB2.
-Feast on your 147-calorie dessert!

September 25

11a-pancakes w/ applesauce, c reg, Met, multi, fish oil
1130a-5oz jerky, can Zevia (delicious, but I have learned my guts don't respond well to erythritol)
130p(PWO)-mini Larabar, can Zevia, 4s Ultima
230p-4 carrots, 6T hummus
330p-c reg
615p-6oz chicken w/ Rotel, 5 carrots w/ 8T hummus, .25c bananas w/ t honey, 2 c decaf, Met, reds, yeast, multi, fish oil
9p-NC, 5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl

Totals: 1999 cal, 34g fat (7 sat), 289g carbs (42 fiber), 136g protein

Right at maintenance! The secret: 11 hours of sleep. You seriously can't beat that, my friends.

September 24

9a-pancakes* w/ honey & applesauce, c reg, fish oil, multi, Met
10a-turkey dog, mini Larabar, c reg w/ cinnamon
during run-mini Larabar, 4s Ultima
130p-trail mix bar
3p-can Zevia, 7oz jerky
430p-mint chocolate chip Arctic Zero (this was good!), can Zevia
7p-lettuce w/ seeds, bacos, cole slaw, ribs, baked potato w/ salsa
11p-2 sl GF bread, s PB2, t honey, fish oil, Met, multi, reds, yeast, NC
12a-5HTP, Tyrosine

Totals: 3343 cal, 114g fat (31 sat), 377g carbs (36g fiber), 209g protein

Either the super addictive jerky OR the evening snack would've been okay, but both was bit much. However, I put on 12 run/walk miles so this was only a little over maintenance.

Also, I slept until I woke up: 9am. Lovely!!

*I found this gluten-free mix & subbed 1/4 of it w/ rice protein powder, used almond milk (of course), and subbed applesauce for oil. My pancakes were still fluffy and delicious! Naturally one batch is labeled as an absurd 7 servings, but I got two filling servings out of it at 338 cal, 1g fat, 63g carbs, 18g protein. Yes, high carb & high calorie, but as I learned, a VERY good pre-run breakfast!

September 23

A better day than Thursday, but still rough. However, when I got home, I went straight to bed & napped for 3 hours, solid. That made one hell of a difference both mentally & physically! I did end up overeating but I didn't binge, gold star!

445a-2 fried eggs, chick saus, 2 sl GF toast, c reg, tangerine, fish oil, multi, 1 FiberSmart, Met
630a-1.5c decaf w/ stevia
9a-egg bake, 2 turkey dogs, 1.5c decaf
1p-4.2oz chicken, sweet potato, fish oil, multi, Larabar
4p-2c kettle corn
830p-protein pancakes, egg bake, tomato w/ balsamic, turkey & cheese on GF bread, fish oil, multi, Met, reds, yeast, NC
9p-5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl

Totals: 2349 cal, 72g fat (13 sat), 285g carbs (37 fiber), 141g protein

September 22

Near tears most of the day. Just over-tired, over-stressed, over-everything. So not a surprise: over-ate at home, but not quite at a binge level…mostly because there was nothing in the house to binge on. Good strategy! Also, stuck to avoiding grains better than I normally would, due to being a bridesmaid in just 8 short days.

450a-fr egg, 2 sl GF bread, chick saus, honey mustard, curry, c reg, fish oil, multi, Met
550a-Kind+ bar, c reg w/ stevia
615a-1.5c decaf
730a-1.5c decaf
10a-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, med apple, s Sunbutter
115p(PWO)-turkey patty, egg bake, fish oil, multi
6p-stir fry, turkey & “cheese” sandwich w/ honey mustard, trail mix bar, PB2, s wasabi peas, 2c decaf, Met, reds, yeast
9p-4 dried apricots, NC, Benadryl, 5HTP, Tyrosine

Totals: 2466 cal, 109g fat (21 sat), 248g carbs (41 fiber), 109g protein

Biggest key: I need more sleep. Averaged 7.5 hours over the last twelve days, which include a vacation that ideally should have pushed that WAY UP. I feel best if I'm averaging 8. So let's think, does this equation make sense:

- adequate sleep
- adequate calories
+ more physical stress (workouts)
+ more mental stress (work)
= binge tendencies

Yep, that looks about right! So let's work on these changes
+ extra sleep
+ extra calories
and see if that helps...this weekend's entire focus is on (a) getting a lot of sleep so that I can (b) log some trail time. Wish me luck & pain-free running!

September 21

5a-fr egg, chick saus, 1 rusk toast, c reg, Met, greens, pollen, fish oil, multi
6a-c reg w/ stevia
8a(PWO)-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, flavor drops, egg bake
10a-banana, 1.5c decaf, stevia, flavor drops
1230p-egg bake, turkey patty, tangerine, fish oil, multi, 1.5c decaf, stevia
2p-.5 pear, .33c grapes, .33c cantaloupe, .33c pineapple, 1.5 strawberries
4p-handful kettle corn, 2 marshmallows
5p-.625oz jerky
630-stir fry & egg white omelet, oz jerky, fish oil, multi, Met, reds, yeast
7p-choco-nana crepe
8p-pint Arctic Zero (fake ice cream, verdict: meh)
9p-5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl, (forgot NC)

Totals: 1874 cal, 55g fat (11 sat), 224g carbs (41 fiber), 128g protein

Unless Dustin recommends otherwise, the diet is being temporarily suspended. My left toe tendon flared up on last night's run, first time in 4 weeks...coincidentally, also the last week of a deficit before bumping back up to maintenance for one week. So, perhaps I need to be on a FOUR week cycle, not five? Or maybe I should eat at maintenance until after the 50k? Or maybe it has nothing whatsoever to do with calories? To be discussed with the chief today...

September 20

GOTD-skip a meal. Skipped my afternoon snack, and was then a cranky, tired, bitchy version of myself.

Not worth it.

Thus, I decided that this week, the GOTD every day is to hit the calorie target, and that's it. I'm going to average 1600 this week, which is the lowest I've ever gone. And in order to cycle calories & have a couple nice high days, particularly to fuel some long runs this weekend, there have to be a couple not-nice low days, which are going to be brutal. So, no added challenges.

5a-fr egg, turkey patty, 2 rusk toats, c reg, fish oil, multi, Met
7a-1.5c reg
8a-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, flavor drops
10a-turkey patty
1p(PWO)-turkey patty, yam, fish oil, multi
6p-lettuce, tomato, 2 baby bell peppers, 2oz turkey, balsamic, multi, fish oil, Met, yeast, reds, c decaf
7p-choco-nana crepe, almond cookie, c decaf
9p-NC, 5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl

Totals: 1389 cal, 53g fat (13 sat), 120g carbs (21 fiber), 104g protein

September 19

5a-fr egg, chick saus, c reg, fish oil, multi, Met
6a-c reg w/ stevia
730a-1.5c decaf
9a-c cauliflower, 1.5c decaf w/ stevia, capella drops
930a-.625oz jerky
1(PWO)-3.42oz salmon, c grapes; 3p-clementine
330p-.625oz jerky
7p-fr egg, chick saus, sm apple w/ t cinnamon, 2c decaf w/ stevia, fish oil, Met, multi, reds, yeast
(forgot NC, 5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl)
Totals: 992 cal, 45g fat (11 sat), 74g carbs (17 fiber), 70g protein

Fasting on Sunday wasn't quite enough. Had to get in one very low day to hit my planned average for the week. And despite two workouts (630am strength, noon run), I somehow still felt fairly good at this level! Definitely wouldn't do it for many days in a row or anything, but here and there it can be made to work. I think the key is having had two days of no workouts just prior. If I tried this on a Thursday, I'd very likely feel like hell at this level.

Averages for the week:-1646 cal, 74 fat (15 sat) 40%, 152g carbs (30 fiber) 37%, 95g protein 23% - goal of 1650
-Down 3%, 49 cal avg, 346 total, from last week
-Burned 3449, up 374 from last week
-2011 avg: 2008 cal, 87g fat (19 sat), 184g carbs (33 fiber), 128g protein
-Weigh in: no change, fat mass down 2.4 lbs. I find those numbers a little suspicious, but here's a measurement that I can believe, thus definitely like: today's change from 8/23, a day with the exact same impedance, fat mass is down 1.4 lbs. Woot!

September 18

Big surprise: Sunday was a fast day. I also got a 2.5-hour nap at home, which helped turn me back into my normal self.

I am still amazed by the fact that fasting is so easy for me. Many times I eyed up that GD bag of trail mix, but every time it was easy enough to say, "Nope, I'm fasting today. Maybe tomorrow." Where the fuck was that willpower 24 hours earlier?!

9a-2c coffee w/ stevia, fish oil, multi, Met
1030a-.5c reg
5p-c decaf, fish oil, multi
8p-NC, multi, fish oil, Met, reds, yeast
930p-5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl

Totals: 162 cal, 4g fat (0 sat), 24g carbs (9 fiber), 5g protein

September 17

The day it all fell apart...6.5 hours in bed, slept terribly (no heat), and no nap. That's really all it takes for me. Not sure how many times I need to re-learn that lesson! I ate until my stomach hurt, and then I kept on eating. Brilliant.

8a-c reg, c grapes, 12oz cola, fish oil, multi
11a-oz nuts, oz trail mix
1p-6oz chicken, egg bake, raw veg, 20oz SoBe, Met, 2oz trail mix, oz jerky, half sweet potato, Mio
2p-sm apple, Alka-Seltzer, c decaf, Bismarck
4p-2 turkey dogs on bun w/ ketchup & mustard, c decaf, mini Larabar
7p-chicken strips w/ bbq, pickles, Mio
8p-ice cream sandwich
12a-oz nuts, oz trail mix
1a-.5oz nuts, fish oil, multi, 5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl.

Totals: 3196 cal, 163g fat (31 sat), 311g carbs (39 fiber), 141g protein

September 16

On Friday I got my act together a bit, mostly by sleeping (9 hours overnight, plus a 2-hour nap).

I was also inspired by the book I Am Potential - a highly recommended read.

1130a-egg bake, 6oz chicken, 2c reg w/ stevia, fish oil, multi, Met, oz nuts, oz Cajun mix, 12oz cola
430p-sandwich, raw veg, 4s hummus
8p-c grapes, sm bell pepper, 2s hummus, sm fries & ketchup
1245a-12oz cola, half sweet potato

Totals: 1601 cal, 57g fat (10 sat), 188g carbs (40 fiber), 85g protein

September 15

A 22-hour day, and day one of a long-awaited vacation weekend. My resolve and "I've got this!" attitude failed me a bit. My husband brought a delicious trail mix, and my in-laws had a giant jar of mixed nuts in the camper...these things killed my ambitious plan. Oh, wait, let's be honest: these things plus a lack of adequate sleep wilted my willpower, and my own brain killed my plan. The weekend even included grains & dairy & a massively high-calorie day, all of which are suspects to cystic acne, which absolutely followed....paying for it big time this week.

Anyway, here goes:

445a-6oz chicken, egg bake, c reg, fish oil, multi x2, Met
6a-c reg
715a-sm apple
730a-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, flavor drops
10a-salmon, orange, fish oil, multi
2p-salmon, sm apple
5p-sandwich (GF bread, fake cheese, turkey), c grapes, stir fry, Cajun trail mix, fish oil, multi, Met
7p-.625oz jerky
12a-baby bell pepper, 2s hummus, oz mixed nuts, 12oz SF/CF cola
2a-2oz nuts, oz jerky, fish oil, multi

Totals: 2368 cal, 113g fat (22 sat), 200g carbs (38 fiber), 138g protein

September 14

GOTD: only 2c decaf. Failed. I was having a pretty crappy work day and decaf was the only indulgence I had at my disposal.

5a-fr egg, chick saus, c reg, fish oil, multi
6a-c reg w/ stevia
9a-chick saus, 1.5c decaf w/ stevia, capella drops
11a-sm apple, s Sunbutter
1230p-6oz chicken, raw peas, carrots, cauliflower, fish oil, multi, 1.5c decaf w/ stevia, capella drops
3p-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, capella drops
4p-stir fry
730p(PWO)-oz wasabi peas*
8p-fr egg, chick saus, c decaf, fish oil, multi, Met, reds, yeast, NC
(forgot Tyrosine, 5HTP, Benadryl)
Totals: 1531 cal, 81g fat (18 sat), 107g carbs (27 fiber), 94g protein

*Every 10th pea or so made my nose BURN. Hello, horseradish! Otherwise the flavor was really quite good. But at 130 cal for a mere ounce (about 55 peas), it's not really worth it, at least not in such a deficit. But I'd forgotten my post-run apple, all my other groceries were off-limits, and I was in need of something, so it was a trade-off worth taking.

GOTD during the next 4 days will simply be: stick to the plan. A calorie deficit on vacation is enough of a challenge, I don't need any more than that. Today, for example, I want to bury my fucking face in Sunbutter, as I'm running on about 5 hours of sleep (after three days of reduced sleep) and hating my job (well, Lisa's job). But I will resist, as it's not in today's plan at I put a posty on top that says, "This will make you fat!" Definitely a good decision not to bring any at all on vacation, or it would almost certainly be devoured before the day is out.

I've plotted out all of my meals, have plenty to eat despite a low target of 1650 calories (key: lots of filling, low-cal vegetables), and I know I will be able to stick to it because my eyes are on the prize! And after I make it through the weekend, I've got just one more week until maintenance.

I've got this.

Recipe: Egg Bake

Made an egg bake last night to take camping, and it turned out both delicious and insanely low-calories, so I need to share. Substitute veggies, meat, cheese as you like. Here was my exact recipe:

1 chopped onion
2c chopped cauliflower
2 green bell peppers (on sale at Elden's!)
2 Trader Joe's Sweet Italian chicken sausages
5.75oz Daiya mozzarella style "cheese" shreds (what I had left in the bag!)
16oz (one carton) Crystal Farms 100% Liquid Egg Whites

Put in the 9x13 pan in that order, baked 1 hour at 350 degrees, and will cut into 12 nicely-sized pieces. Easy peasy, and here's the nutrition per piece: 92.75 calories, 7g carbs, 4g fat, 7g protein - holy shit, right?

-Obviously pork or beef will raise calories over chicken sausage, but hey, a couple pieces of chopped bacon might flavor it up enough to be worth the trade off.
-Fake cheese is similar in calories to the real stuff; if you eliminate it (or cut down the amount) you might not even miss it, particularly if you add more spices.
-Use egg whites because you won't even miss the flavor of whole eggs.
-Add whatever spices you like.
-Use any vegetables you've got hanging out or about to go bad, but always include at least one onion or it tastes quite blah; the cauliflower also adds a surprising amount of flavor.
-If it still turns out blah, just top it with salsa or Tabasco, and remember to change it up next time!

September 13

GOTD-nothing processed (again).

515a-egg white w/ stir fry, steak, chick saus, fish oil, multi, Met, c reg
620a-c reg, stevia, cinnamon, almond milk
10a-4oz steak
1p(PWO)-4oz pork tenderloin, .25c sweet potatoes, fish oil, multi
5p-2 roma tomatoes
630p(PWO)-sm apple
7p-15oz bag snap peas**
745p-4oz pork tenderloin, .25c sweet potatoes, fish oil, multi, Met, reds, yeast
9p-NC, 5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl

Totals: 1672 cal, 52g fat (11 sat), 162g carbs (37 fiber), 135g protein

*A Larabar is technically a goal fail, but when a 5th grader could pronounce every ingredient, it's good enough for me. And at any rate, I was sadly too busy to take 5 minutes to walk to the Squirrel's Nest for my salmon.

**Elden's has 15-oz bags of snap peas now, a slightly better deal than the 8-oz bags. But just like any other food you put in front of me, I'm going to eat until it's gone. Especially if I'm driving. At ~200 calories, this is not a bad way to fill that snacky eat eat eat need, but that's a whole lotta fiber to ingest at once! The second bag was smartly portioned out into salads.

Couple fat loss tips:
-Last night at Elden's I looked at the cookies and in the moment when I'd normally feel deprived, I told myself that I've only got two more weeks of dieting and THEN I have a maintenance week where I can eat some junk. And I did not feel deprived! Give yourself a deadline (4 weeks or less is usually best) so you can keep your eyes on the prize.
-I'm going on a camping vacation this weekend. Unlike 99.9% of the population, I'm using this as an opportunity to accelerate fat loss, not slide backward. Here's how:
--I'm not justifying any diet break. In fact, I'm thrilled to be able to avoid all home-based temptations of overeating! I won't need to use willpower if I plot out my meals and ONLY bring those meals with me. There simply will be no excess calorie options. If I overeat my supply at some point, it would mean NOT eating at another point. And since I have the added benefit of avoiding grains & dairy (like that attitude?), I can't be tempted by anyone else's food in our group.
--This weekend will also see me only doing easy running and one long walk; no strength work to overly stress the body, which really dislikes trying to pull from fat to build muscle. Easy cardio helps it allow fat loss without hormones going ballistic.
--Also helpful for fat loss? Sleep. Lots and lots of sweet, blessed sleep, in awesomely cool temps.
--And finally, eliminating all forms of mental stress will make the body allow fat loss more easily as well. My typical day: Read. Run or walk. Nap. Read. Races. Campfire. Sleep. I call it the perfect vacation.

Averages for the week:
-1695 cal, 65 fat (10 sat) 35%, 188g carbs (27 fiber) 44%, 84g protein 20% - goal of 1700
-Down 3%, 53 cal avg, 369 total, from last week
-Burned 3075, up 603 from last week
-2011 avg: 2018 cal, 88g fat (19 sat), 185g carbs (33 fiber), 129g protein
-Weigh in: up .8 lbs, fat mass down 1 lb. Whatever. Dustin saw me back in my usual shorts for the first time in two weeks (been wearing sweatpants to stay warm since I wasn't working that hard) and said in a rather surprised voice, "You're looking trim!" Aw, sweetness.

September 12

GOTD-nothing processed...easy when you're fasting!

5a-c reg
6a-c reg, fish oil, multix2, 1 FiberSmart
9a-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, capella drops
1015a-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, capella drops
1215p-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, capella drops
8p-Met, reds, yeast, fish oil, multi, NC
945p-Benadryl, 5HTP, Tyrosine

Totals: 154 cal, 4g fat (0 sat), 21g carbs (6 fiber), 6g protein

This fast day was a struggle. I taught class at 630am, the back was extra hurty, work was extra stressy (I left "early" at 430pm...and again, I was there at 630am!!), and I was tired as fuck. When I got home, I basically napped from 5-8, full on crash mode. And then paid for it by not being able to sleep at bedtime...bit of a lose-lose.

September 11

GOTD-high carb.

930a-fr egg, 2 sl bacon, crumpet, apple cake, 2c reg, fish oil, multix2, Met
2p-3.5oz tilapia, stir fry
4p-sm apple, s CPB2, 3 sl WW bread, c decaf, fish oil, multi
3p-large carrot, T lite dressing
6p-lettuce, tomato, balsamic, 3.5 oz tilapia & onions, chick saus, fish oil, Met, reds, yeast, multi
8p-sm apple, s PB2, c decaf
9p-Tyrosine, 5HTP, Benadryl

Totals: 1595 cal, 49g fat (7 sat), 222g carbs (36 fiber), 96g protein

September 10

GOTD-only 2c decaf (actually 0!)

Mud Run day:

7a-fr egg, 2 sl bacon, sweet potato, c reg, piece apple cake, fish oil, multi x2, Met
945a-c reg w/ stevia & milk, mini Larabar
12p-salad (lettuce, .5 hb egg, .5oz turkey, 1 grape tomato), 3.5oz jerky
5p(PWO)-2 veggie burgers (<-fucking disgusting but that was all the free food they had left besides stuff I couldn't eat), beer
530p-Larabar, homemade "mud cookie"
7p-SoBe Lifewater, 3.5oz jerky
8p-ribs, boneless wings, onion rings (we stopped at Buffalo Wild Wings and I should've had nothing since I'd already had a full day of calories...but brain was not doing well, willpower was gone)
10p-almond “ice cream” bar
12a-fish oil, multi (forgot Met, reds, yeast, 5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl)

Totals: 3016 cal, 126g fat (16 sat), 256g carbs (26 fiber), 177g protein

September 9

Fast day but after my nap (3-6:30pm!) I decided to eat supper.

GOTD-salad for breakfast, skipped it, fasting.

530a-c reg, Met, fish oil, adrenal, multix2, 2 FiberSmart
7a-c reg, .5c decaf
830a-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, capella drops
1230p-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, capella drops, fish oil, multi
8p-“pizza” of egg white, daiya, Canadian bacon, tomato, pizza sauce
830p-3 carrots, chick saus
9p-Benadryl, 5HTP, Tyrosine

Totals: 607 cal, 21g fat (2 sat), 65g carbs (17 fiber), 36g protein

September 8

Hell week caught up to me. Third straight ungodly-early day (630a), did fine until I planned an all-out breakfast-for-supper with Hop. I found a from-scratch pancake recipe that I could make non-dairy, and all those carbs did one fuck of a number on my body.

For starters my carb cravings were turned to HIGH and I ate dessert then another half-pancake before bed. And then I woke up at 1245, totally fucking wired & wide awake. Felt like I could've ran 20 fucking miles at that point. I got up for water, b/r, laid down but couldn’t sleep; got back up at 130 and ate & read…and ate more. Started w/ stir fry, thinking fiber would be good (grains = constipation for me, thrilling info, I know), then went to eggs & bacon for protein/fat…and then I caved to my cravings and added more grains. A LOT more. Fucking brain! Gues I’m carb-loaded for the Mud Run, at any rate.

The saving grace is that I am fasting today so I will still hit my caloric goal...and yet the planned fast also helped me justify caving at 2am. Though at that point, I don't know that I could've resisted anything.

GOTD: stretch 10min 3 straight days!

5a-fr egg, 2 sl bacon, pretzel bagel, c reg, fish oil, Met, multix2
6a-c reg w/ cinn, stevia
645a-1.5c decaf w/ cinn, stevia
945a-1.5c decaf w/ cinn, stevia, sm apple, s Sunbutter
3p-.5oz brain food
630p-pancake, 2 eggs, 3 sl bacon, c sweet potatoes, 2c decaf, fish oil, multi, Met, reds, yeast, 2 FiberSmart, apple cake
9p-half pancake, balsamic, NC
10p-5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl
130a-stir fry, c decaf
2a-c decaf, fr egg, 1.5 sl bacon, 6 mini pitas, balsamic sauce, half pancake

Totals: 3388 cal, 140g fat (25 sat), 436g carbs (52 fiber), 106g protein

September 7

GOTD: 10min stretching (again).

450a-2 fried eggs, 2 sl bacon, 2 mini pitas, fish oil, multix2, Met, c reg
550a-c reg, 4oz almond milk, stevia
8a(PWO)-1.5c decaf, stevia, capella drops, oatmeal cranberry cookie
10a-sm apple, 12 almonds
12p-buffalo chicken salad & breadstick
1p-fish oil, multi
4p-English muffin, T Sunbutter, 1.5c decaf, stevia, capella drops
7p(PWO)-tilapia, stir fry, fish oil, multi, Met, reds, yeast
715p-Fruition bar
1030p-5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl, 2 FiberSmart

Totals: 1708 cal, 71g fat (12 sat), 227g carbs (37 fiber), 88g protein – goal of 2000

Longest. Day. Ever. Got to work at 610am (to teach my first ever class!), left at 5pm to run, came back at 630pm to work some more. Left at 915pm. Gah-ROSS.

September 6

GOTD: 10min stretching.

5a-2 fr eggs, 2 sl bacon, 2 rusk toasts, c reg, fish oil, multix2, Met
6a-c reg w/ stevia
7a-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, capella drops
10a-chick saus, 12 almonds, sm plum
1130a-c grapes
1p(PWO)-7oz tilapia, stir fry, fish oil
9p-fish oil, multi, Met, reds, yeast, NC (forgot 5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl)

Totals: 1074 cal, 46g fat (11 sat), 92g carbs (17 fiber), 80g protein – goal of 1400

Half-fast day. Goal calories this week of 1700 so I'm going to skip a few meals to allow for a high weekend.

Also, numbers for 8/30-9/5 looked awesome:
-Averaged 1748 cal, 55 fat (12 sat) 28%, 213g carbs (36 fiber) 49%, 108g protein 25%  - goal of 1750
-Down 14%, 291 cal avg, 2036 total, from last week
-Burned 2472, down 798 from last week
-Weighed in down 2.2 lbs!

September 5

GOTD: portion out a bag of kettle corn--didn’t feel like I need it!

630a-fr egg, 2 sl bacon, sweet potato, c reg, fish oil, multix2, Met, crumpet w/ balsamic, c reg w/ stevia
1030a (pre-walk)-Wonderbar, Kind+ bar
during walk-2s Ultima
345(PWO)-romaine, tomatoes, balsamic
430p-sampled cookie batter
515p-romaine & tomato & hb egg & balsamic, sweet potato, 2oz smoked pork, 1.5oz smoked chicken
7p-sm apple
8p-fish oil, multi, Met, reds, yeast, NC
9p-5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl

Totals: 1890 cal, 59g fat (17 sat), 286g carbs (46 fiber), 68g protein – goal of 1900

September 4

GOTD-plan a meal out w/ Hop. I have yet to do this. Sometime this weekend, I think.

730a-pizza (egg white crust, daiya “cheese,” turkey pepperoni, pizza sauce), crumpet, balsamic sauce, c reg, fish oil, Met, multix2
9a-c reg
10a-c decaf, fried egg, 4oz pork tenderloin, sm banana
11a-almond milk decaf latte
4p-salad (romaine, cukes, tomatoes), 4oz pork tenderloin, fish oil, multi
7p-3oz jerky, Vitamin Water
11p-4oz pork tenderloin, fish oil, multi, Met, reds, yeast

Totals: 1702 cal, 53g fat (12 sat), 160g carbs (22 fiber), 140g protein – goal of 1800

September 3

GOTD-low carb day.

830a-egg white omelet w/ salsa, chick saus, half cantaloupe, c reg, fish oil, multix2, Met
9a-almond milk latte
1p-chicken leg & thigh, stir fry, fish oil, multi
4p-sm banana
7p-salad (2oz steak, romaine, green beans, peas, apple, celery, pecans)
11p-3.5oz teriyaki jerky, Vitamin Water*
1a-2c grapes

Totals: 1627 cal, 48g fat (12 sat), 175g carbs (24 fiber), 132g protein – goal of 1800

*Look at the label of your next calorie-free beverage. This one listed 0 calories per 8oz serving, but also 4g carbs per 8oz serving. You tell me how that math works!

Certainly a hidden 40 calories (4g carbs x 4 calories each x 2.5 serings per bottle) won't derail you, but what if you drank several of them per day? 100 extra calories every day adds up pretty damn fast.

September 2

GOTD-salad for breakfast; forgot, did supper instead.

5a-fried egg, chick saus, c reg, fish oil, multix2, Met
615a-c reg, half PB cookie
9a-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, capella drops
10a-2 tiny plums, oz almonds
11a-English muffin w/ Sunbutter, 1.5c decaf w/ stevia, capella drops
115p-7 oz tilapia, onions, 1.5c decaf; 215p-fish oil
4p-protein shake
7p-salad (romaine, cukes, tomatoes), fish oil, multi, Met, reds, yeast, NC
8p-cukes, carrots, hummus
1030p-5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadaryl

Totals: 1848 cal, 71g fat (12 sat), 188g carbs (43 fiber), 128g protein – goal of 1800

Once again, a horrible day at work. A husband who took off on his motorcycle because he also had a couple horrible days. A weekend of canceled workouts pending. Acne coming back. And once again, despite all the usual ingredients of a massive binge, it didn't happen. My weapons that night were taking a nap 5-7pm, and simply not having any binge triggers (no nut butters, maybe I've finally learned!) but only healthy options like the veg & hummus.

September 1

GOTD-only 2c decaf.

5a-pizza of pita, turkey pepperoni, daiya cheese, tomato, sauce, c reg, Met, NC, D, multix2, fish oil
7a-1.5c decaf w/ stevia, capella drops
9a-2 tiny plums
11a-oz almonds
1p(PWO)-tilapia, stir fry, fish oil
3p-med apple; 4p-12 almonds
530p-beef, lettuce, tomato on rye, fries
8p-crumpet, balsamic sauce, multi, Met, reds, yeast, NC
930p-Tyrosine, 5HTP, Benadryl

Totals: 1925 cal, 67g fat (12 sat), 231g carbs (37 fiber), 110g protein – goal of 1700

Went over because I was having a pretty awful day...literally crying in the stall after work, hating on my job...had a husband hating on my cats who apparently started using my treadmill as their litterbox...had a back not healing fast enough to let me know my normal workouts...basically felt like a failure in every aspect of my life. So given all of that, I actually did pretty GD well.

August 31

GOTD-eat nothing processed. Technically I suppose the freeze-dried banana chips were processed, but there was nothing added, the ingredient list was bananas only! From Trader Joe's, and pretty damn good - and not as messy as the FD blueberries.

6a-4oz pork tenderloin, fried egg, c grapes, c reg, Met, multi, adrenal, fish oil
7a-c reg w/ stevia, flavor drops
8a-1.5c decaf w/ stevia
10a-orange, 12 almonds, 1.5c decaf
12p-4oz pork tenderloin, tiny plum, sm banana, .25c sweet potatoes, fish oil, adrenal
130p-35g freeze dried banana chips, 12 almonds
230p(post blood donation)-35g freeze dried banana chips, 12 almonds
4p-sm plum
7p-pork chop, sweet potato, asparagus, fish oil, multi, Met, yeast, reds, NC, D
930p-5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl

Totals: 1907 cal, 55g fat (10 sat), 262g carbs (40 fiber), 101g protein – goal of 1900

August 30

Holy catch-up time.

GOTD-high carb day. Wasn't all that high, didn't feel like I needed it. Cool!

6a-egg white omelet, 2 rusk toasts, c reg, fish oil, adrenal, multi, 2 FiberSmart
7a-.5c reg w/ flavor drops
8a-c reg, .5c decaf w/ stevia
10a-sm banana, 12 almonds
1p-Aleve, sm banana, 4oz pork loin, .5c sweet potatoes
7p(PWO)-tilapa, stir fry, tomatoes & balsamic, fish oil, adrenal, Met, red, yeast
8p-cukes & hummus, NC
930p-5HTP, Tyrosine, Benadryl

Totals: 1338 cal, 34g fat (6 sat), 188g carbs (39 fiber), 78g protein – goal of 1500