Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger: Days 25-27

Theme of the summer seems to be two steps forward, one step back...


7.5 hours in bed. Wide awake at 430, NOT h/s/g but hit bathroom and then could not fall back asleep. Just got up at 515. More evidence that the wake-up is simply a drop in blood sugar since it seems to happen about 8 hours after eating most of the time. (But not always. Hm. I really need to take some time to look back at these notes.)

Spartacus at noon w/ Joy & Brenda, went light. HOT in there or else I just needed more water. Or both.

Was fairly tired in the afternoon already. Bad sign for Relay; let myself eat unplanned pita chips.

At Relay: walked .5m in sandals, then 1m bare, 1m Vibs, 2m Merrells between 530-1030. Was tired, feet weren’t feeling the greatest, sat down at 1030 to rest. Also, at 730p I gave 4 vials of blood for the Cancer Prevention Study. It was SUPER humid & gross, and I drank a lot of water, but definitely turned out to be too little to feel good.

Food details: 515a-fried egg, chick saus, 2 sl gluten-free bread, c reg w/ T coconut creamer, fish oil, D, Met, zinc, MA, adrenal; 630a-c reg w/ T coconut creamer; 745a-Americano w/ SF vanilla; 9a-English muffin, T Sunbutter, 1.5c decaf w/ T coconut creamer; 11a-.5 bagel, T maple almond butter; 1p(PWO)-stir fry, sm apple, T Sunbutter, fish oil, MA, adrenal; 330p-protein & SF pudding mix, sm apple, T almond butter, 1.5c reg w/ stevia; 4p-pita chips; 445p-stir fry, fish oil, MA, BSM, zinc, adrenal; snacks at Relay: c snap peas, 2c strawberries, 3.25oz jerky, protein bar, protein shake, 2 bottles diet ch Pepsi

Totals: 2482 cal, 71g fat (8 sat), 283g carbs (46 fiber), 186g protein – goal of 2073 (goal changed due to fewer miles than planned - otherwise I'd have come in right on target of 2400)


Mike, Jason, Luke showed up a bit early, so I started running at 1140p. Felt okay while they were there, 2.81m very easy. Kept it easy until 3, then sped up. My right calf started to feel like it was about to cramp at ~4.25m. I stopped for water (also because it was crazy humid) & went back out. Tried to speed up, slow down, land differently – nothing helped the calf. Felt like it was going to hit a point of total lock-up; I stopped for more water and stretched it, and it felt exactly the same. Gave up. 5.14 miles total.

Couldn’t find e-tabs, so I grabbed kettle corn instead and walked & ate, trying to get some salt back in my system. Took a break at 130a to help with coconut bowling, then more walking. Calf hated everything! 14.17 total miles, a huge disappointment when I intended to run 10 & walk 10.

At 330, we left, as it was raining, I didn’t feel I should walk any more, and if I stayed I’d be sleeping. Went to rec room at TS, napped 2.75 hrs – woke at 730a, didn’t feel I’d fall back. Stupidly had counted on free breakfast & had nothing but carbs left to eat, so I got a rib sandwich & pop at Holiday, then went to Warrior Training at 830a.

We did 4 trips up Victoria’s Revenge, 2 miles, felt okay doing it. Calf was angry at start of each hill, but 10 yards in it would feel okay-ish. Walking down was fine. No water, why would I have bought that at Holiday?

Then Amy & I went to the pea pick at Ploughshare Farm; we picked ~45min, sat ~15min in the shade, farm tour ~1.5 hours. Was feeling awful: I drank just 20oz water through all of this, in the hot noon sun, wearing no sunscreen, on very little sleep, UGH. Our potluck lunch was very healthy, lots of greens, finally got some more water. But I was still very tired.

I stopped at the Carlos Corners gas station on my way home, since Amy said they had the "best bacon ever" (Klinder Meats), and I found ribs, ready to eat. Ate the entire rack when I got home, along with two giant cookies I had bought for Relay – I should have gone STRAIGHT TO BED. Showered, napped 5-730p. Ate breakfast food, computer time, bed at 11p. (Oh, and the bacon really is damn good.)

Food details: snacks at Relay-sm apple, bag mixed nuts (almonds, cashews, peanuts), bag light kettle corn, Joy’s iced mocha coffee drink (thank you, friend!!); 820a-bottle diet ch Pepsi, rib sandwich; 930a-12oz coffee; 11a-few snap peas; 130p-potluck (many greens, chicken & veg soup, sl rye bread, .5c strawberries); 3p-bottle diet ch Pepsi; 330p-rack ribs, 2 choc mint cookies, fish oil; 730p-2 fried eggs, 3 sl bacon, 2 sl GF bread, c decaf, T coconut creamer, fish oil, zinc, Met, MA, BSM; 9p-banana ice cream w/ protein powder, T maple syrup, 12 almonds

Totals: 4203 cal, 184g fat (45 sat), 469g carbs (52 fiber), 192g protein – goal of 1923 (shit balls)


8.5 hours in bed. Tired. Left foot hurt so no running at all. Paid bills, dishes, transplanted tomatoes, litter, laundry. Tired. Everything on my to-do list looked like tons of work and I didn’t want to do ANY of it. Also I was naturally freaking out over yesterday’s calories and beating myself up for being unable to recognize the need for water & sleep, rather than FOOD.

I wanted to do a tough workout or bike ride but had no energy for either. Finished typing this all up for Dustin at 230p, and realized I was in the same stupid cycle: tired, thirsty, snacky. So I wised up and took a 3-hour nap. Still tired. Huge storm was coming (which totally kicked Sauk Centre's ass, so sorry for everyone there), thus no bike ride, and I was too tired for the tough workout – and really, really worried about the foot.

Decided to fast on Monday and so I ate a semi-reasonable supper.

Food details: 730a-fried egg, 3 sl bacon, 2 sl WW bread, c reg w/ T coconut creamer, fish oil, D, zinc, MA, adrenal, sm apple; 9a-c reg, Met; 12p-c snap peas, lg tomato, c romaine, balsamic, can chicken, 2T honey mustard, 2 sl WW bread, MA, adrenal, fish oil; 5p-c snap peas; 6p-4oz pork ribs w/ sauce, 8oz round steak, .5c canned peas, sm apple, fish oil, zinc, MA, adrenal, Met; 8p-sm apple w/ choco PB2 & PP spice, BSM, NC; 10p-Tyrosine, 5HTP

Totals: 1942 cal, 78g fat (24 sat), 152g carbs (37 fiber), 150g protein – goal of 1475 (could've been worse or I would've been right on if I hadn't been all ZOMG! MEAT! at supper)

I would like to hire someone to babysit me when Hop is gone. This person just needs to send me to bed when I get to the point of depletion. 99% of the time, binges occur when I'm depleted & tired. And logic, even simple, easy-to-follow logic like "I should go to bed now" just utterly fails me.

Acne is awful again, which was also hard on the brain. So this morning I made a decision. If, after two weeks, the new supplements do not seem to be affecting my acne, I'm going to call and renew my long-lapsed prescription. I've resisted doing so because it's an antibiotic, which I don't want to be on indefinitely. But now that I feel pretty confident that it's caused by both dairy & calorie deficits, I can accept a temporary prescription. Once I hit maintenance caloric intake, I will go off it. If taking away that large stressor makes everything else more bearable, then it's worth the risk.

If you read all of that, you deserve a bonus! Here's a yummy, healthy, clean dessert recipe:
-Chop up an apple, microwave it until soft (but not mush, leave a leetle bit of crunch to it). My apple was tiny & only took 1 minute.
-Meanwhile, mix up your PB2, using a little extra water to make it runny, not paste-y. (I used chocolate, not sure if regular is going to taste quite as good. Try it. If it’s only okay, make it again and add cocoa powder to it to make it chocolate!)
-Drizzle PB2 over apple. Sprinkle with cinnamon or pumpkin pie spice. (I used pie spice.)

And here's another delicious-sounding recipe that Joy made: http://www.bellplantation.com/recipes/easy-slow-cooker-thai-pb2-chicken - and I will confidently recommend anything she suggests without having eaten it. She's pretty fantastic.

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