Thursday had some lessons to share!
Sleep: 8 hours in bed; awake at 4am, NOT h/s/g but hit bathroom and took forever to fall back asleep. Was feeling okay, though.
Session was good other than anger over shoulder (it affected chin-ups, presses, OH squats; fuck you, shoulder!!). Not depressed though, just frustrated. After work, I had planned a 5pm metabolic workout but in thinking about it at 4:30, I realized that I wanted to WANT to do it, but I didn’t truly want to face it. It's not an easy workout, and I had no gumption to face the challenge.
Here's the lesson: I know I could've knocked it out, but I could tell that if I forced myself to do it, I’d be totally depleted and odds were that I'd fly into a binge zone at home. And we know that does not benefit me in any way, shape or form - even if I burned 500 calories and then ate 500 calories, the beatdown my brain would suffer makes it 100% not worth it. Now, I may have avoided bingeing: Hop was at home, which generally keeps me in line. But I also had a long, long Friday coming up (Relay for Life is finally here!), and going into it feeling physically depleted would be very foolish. Better to play it safe.
So instead I went to the Grain Bin, where I bought supplements for my adrenals (in theory, to support my endocrine system & prevent acne reactions: fingers crossed!) and two for reducing cravings/improving sleep. Here's hoping they all work! (Related acne note: two nights of the MoM mask, and I have no new cysts coming in...will keep you posted!)
At home, I ate my uber-healthy supper, started iTunes download (OMG I joined 2005 & got a Shuffle!), and then went for a 10-mile bike ride w/ Hop. It was easy, slow, & quite enjoyable, being such a gorgeous night. We carried on a conversation through about 75% of it, even! Two birds, one stone: quality time with hubster and an "active recovery" workout!
Food details: 6a-fried egg, chicken sausage, 2 sl gluten-free bread, c reg, fish oil, D, Met, zinc, MA; 7a-c reg; 8a-c reg; 9a-1.5c reg w/ stevia, oz almonds; 11a-half bagel w/ applesauce; 1p(PWO)-dozen Goldfish, mini s’mores in a bag, 5oz amazingly tasty tuna & 2 sl gluten-free bread, Americano w/ SF vanilla; 330p-fish oil, MA, oz almonds, protein shake w/ SF jello pudding mix; 730p-stir fry, fish oil, MA, BSM, zinc, Met, adrenal support; 830p-1.5c cantaloupe, 1.5c watermelon, NC, Tyrosine & 5HTP
Totals: 1701 cal, 62g fat (10 sat), 190g carbs (30 fiber), 115g protein – goal of 1785
Couple food tips:
-Junk calories are currently running over 10% to soothe the brain and suppress binge inclinations – if that’s what it takes to keep calories in line, then that’s good enough ... for now. Baby steps.
-Why eat a whole bagel when half will satisfy just as well?
-I made s'mores-in-a-bag & bagged Goldfish to sell at the Relay on Thursday morning. To avoid snacking as I made these things, I promised myself I could have some. When I came down to the last scoop in the bowl, which was only about 1/3 of a "serving" each time, I bagged that up to eat post-Dustin. That way I didn't feel deprived as I worked, since I knew I could have some eventually, AND I guarantee that I would have eaten far more if I'd grazed as I went along!
-Sugar-free Jello pudding mix is a very tasty (and very low-calorie) addition to protein shakes. I used butterscotch, and it was like dessert! (Totally pure chemicals, basically the polar opposite of Whole9 rules, but you figure out how to make plain unflavored egg white protein tasty without junk!)