Ah, today had some failures once again.
Effing CARBS are so addictive. One little indulgence meal, or not so-little, as the case may be, and *BAM* it's like I've never avoided carbs a day in my life. It is a basic biological addiction and so damn hard to get over it. But once I persevere and get through it, the cravings always die out. Today just wasn't the day to persevere, that's all.
8 hours in bed. Woke at 330a h/s/g, bathroom. Up at 610a, felt decent, a tiny bit tired since I just woke a lot.
The eating wrong started out right off the bat with some extra intake at breakfast. A little maple syrup on the venison to make it breakfast-sausage-like. Some strawberries? Oh, that's fine. 8 almonds? Oh ... well ... okay, that's not so bad. Then I managed to get back on track. I worked from home today, in my pajamas, and was probably twice as productive as I typically am at work, except for the momentary side-tracking of house-purchase negotiations (detailed below).
I realized, about 11am, that I should test eating something that will be at the aid stations at Afton, just in case I get tired of (or run out of) sweet potato chews. Hop had some potato chips, so I ate a serving of those. And then another half serving. ADDICTING. I ran my 5 miles at marathon pace (hard) and the chips sat just fine in my belly. Success!
I then ate well at lunch; though I didn't need to add the crepes, they were perfectly healthy, and easily justified.
I had a snack craving a little late due to the late lunch, and the house goings-on had me eating without thinking. But it was all healthy: banana, venison, apple. No worries!
Okay, so then I decided to thaw fish for supper. Fish would get my ass back on track and land my calories only a tick over what they ought to be. Yep yep, I'd make fish & onions & olive oil, crazy healthy and quite delicious ... but then when Hop came home, he was up for going to the Osakis VFW for the all-you-can-eat ribs. (I had tried to get someone to join me in a rib-eating contest to benefit the Relay but apparently my pork-eating prowess is far too intimidating.)
I can't say no to ribs. Ever. And while I didn't eat as many as I could have, I still ate 14 motherfucking oz of ribs (I think. 14 bones' worth is likely 14 oz, right?) with ease. And I'm certain that in a contest I could've doubled that. Easily. (Also, if you're tracking: 99% likely there was soy in that sauce. Didn't give me a moment's pause.)
Then we cruised on the motorcycle to visit Sport at the Next Door Bar, who I haven't seen in ages. He's such a great guy: looks like a total badass, but is a complete sweetheart! Anyway, Hop had a Bud, I had two waters (hardcore, I am) and then Hop dropped me off back home.
And after he left, I proceeded to eat some more: a bowl of cereal with rice milk.
And so ends the day. Massive calories. Double the goal intake. I can modify Saturday & Sunday a bit to recover some of the overage, but not all of it. Or at least, not if I want to get in 20 quality miles on Sunday - and I most certainly do. SIGH. Perhaps a fast on Monday. But only if my brain is in a good place for it. Thanks a lot, French toast. I blame it all on you!!
Food: 6a-egg bake, venison sausage, T maple syrup, 5 strawberries, 8 almonds, c decaf, D, FS, zinc, MA, fish oil; 630a-1.5c reg w/ SF jello powder; 8a-1.5c reg; 915a-8 almonds; 1215p-1.5oz potato chips; 130 (PWO)-2c romaine & hb egg w/ balsamic, c asparagus w/ balsamic, cinnamon crepes* w/ T maple syrup; 4p-small banana, 3oz venison, small apple; 5p-oz potato chips; 7p-c iceberg, .25c diced tomatoes, 1/3 hb egg, spoonful bacon bits, 14oz babyback ribs w/ sauce; 9p-FS, BSM, MA, zinc, Natural Calm, fish oil, 3/4c Honey Nut Cheerios, 1/3c rice milk
Totals: 3188 cal, 192g fat (63 sat), 177g carbs (21 fiber), 190g protein - goal of 1650
*Cinnamon crepes: one egg, splash rice milk, t or so cinnamon, t or so vanilla extract - adjust to taste.
Here's the bright side: I'm really not beating myself up about it. It backslides me by three days (setting me level for the week at this point) but I'm surprisingly tolerant of it. I couldn't really tell you what's keeping me from doing the whole "tearing out my hair, beating my breast, wailing like a banshee" act. It's not a sense of giving up, of WHATEVER, fuck it, I'll eat what I want; I absolutely intend to get right back on track tomorrow. I'm just learning acceptance, I guess? Failures happen. I'm not perfect (gasp!) but I'm not defeated, either. Forgive and move forward. And don't buy any more damned bread!
HOUSE UPDATE! Here's the full history:
-it was listed for $79,900
-we offered $61,000
-they dropped to $74,500
-we bumped to $65,000
-they had the septic system inspected, and since our offer was contingent on the septic being up to code, they dropped to $70,000 with a new sewer installed (and claimed it would cost $7k to install a new mound system, but now that I look at that ... wouldn't they have taken $65k in that case? Dad suggested one of the siblings might be able to do it himself or perhaps has a buddy or something; regardless, he thought even $7k sounded cheap!)
-we countered with: we'll replace the septic ourselves (Hop's BIL does this), so drop the price to $63k; but then, let's write it up to $67,000 and the sellers pay our $4k in closing costs. That allows us to roll the closing costs into the mortgage and reduces what we'd need to borrow from my parents. (And if the sewer does need to be replaced, we have time to get that done and should be able to save up for it by next year.) This is essentially the same as what they offered us, just shuffled a bit, so let's hope they jump on it!
And on that note: know anyone who wants to rent a cute little two-bedroom house in West Union?