Ah, failures. How much fun they are! And how much more fun when we share them with the world! I keep thinking that the more public I am about this, the less likely it is to happen...wishful thinking, so far.
On Saturday morning I volunteered at the Minnewaska Warm-Up. I was a block from the finish line, cheering on runners, seething with jealousy, and getting super anxious to get out for my own run. I ate brunch with my favorite running buddy, and then on the way home, I started eating pistachios. I intended to have 1 oz. I stopped at 2. At home, I hung out with a book, letting food digest for 2 hours before trying to run.
And then the run failed, I was very depressed, and I returned home to eat and eat. My brain was in the shitter, and I binged, and I desperately wish I had found some way to stop. So far, I continue to find myself powerless when I get that depressed. I even binged again after the races instead of going to bed! Pistachios: no longer allowed in my house.
On Sunday (Mother's Day) I had decided I'd fast on Monday to make up for Saturday, but I was still planning to eat reasonably well at the holiday gatherings. Well, that's tough when provided with all of my favorites. Damn my families for their great food choices! I have no control around BBQd meat, my friends. None. Then go ahead and make that BBQd pork ribs, and you'd damn well better stand back!
530a-c yam, 3oz pork roast, sm apple, c reg coffee
830a-1.5c reg, banana
11a (cafe)-2 fried eggs, ham patty, 2c reg
130p (pre-run)-6 brazil nuts, oz raisins
230p (post-run-fail)-6oz pork w/ 2T mustard, c cabbage, sm orange, 2oz pistachios
630p-chicken sausage link (<-at the races - hooray for portability!)
TOTALS: 3384 cal, 221g fat (49 sat), 207g carbs (46 fiber), 169g protein
630a-egg white omelet, chicken & veg, c reg
12p-6oz bbq ribs, 3oz bbq chicken, c asparagus, 4c reg
3p-c sweet potato, c reg
6p-5oz bbq ribs, 3 oz chicken, c asparagus, .5c watermelon, .5c honeydew, .5 sm apple
TOTALS: 2557 cal, 126g fat (43 sat), 202g carbs (27 fiber), 173g protein
A small victory: avoided feeling sorry for myself over not eating bread pudding, peach cobbler, or corn muffins - all of which I had made in the morning.
Pre-cooking (see, I did do something smart over the weekend):
-Slow-cooker chicken & veg (carrots, dandelion greens, spinach, kohlrabi, green peppers)
-Pork roast w/ honey mustard
-5 servings pollock
Whole30: I consumed some corn (high fructose corn syrup, why not go for the gold star of nutrition, eh?) and soy in the BBQ sauces. Really hoping that such small amounts will not trigger reactions.