For the first time I "failed" on the Whole30 plan. On the last day of the 3rd week. SO CLOSE! Granted, my failure was minor, but I'm an Achiever. I'm about 100% success, not 99%. Ugh. I ate almonds & cashews from a trail mix that had a flavor coating made of soy & corn. Damn shit is EVERYWHERE. But I was at the snax firm on a very low-calorie day, my brain was a total fog both due to the calories and to life in general, and that was all I could find to eat that even came close to the rules. Luckily, in the grand scheme of what's happening in my life, I've no ability to beat myself up over this. Bigger things are happening.
Yesterday I learned that a relative has lung cancer. It may be fine; doctors removed a suspicious mass that they didn't think was cancer, but it tested positive. They may have gotten it all; they may not have. More tests will follow and hopefully we'll know more soon. This is yet another person on a long, frustrating list of folks diagnosed with the big C. This is yet another reason that I participate in the Douglas County Relay for Life each year.
And tonight I'm going to the visitation for Josh, and my stomach is in knots. I feel as awful as I did on Monday, right back to feeling like I'm being repeatedly punched in the gut. It's going to be so emotional. The visitation is being held at the school because of space needs. And I just want to know, where were all of these people when Josh was alive? How did he not realize how beloved he was? Make sure your loved ones know how important they are to you. Tell them often that you love and appreciate them, and mean it. They are, after all, priceless.
Luckily, today is a high day, and I am fully stocked on healthy options, so even if my comfort-food munchies get the best of me, I'll do just fine. If today was NOT a high day, I would plan out appropriate calories, but then I would allow for it to be a high day if needed from a mental/emotional standpoint.
Yesterday's nutrition details:
6a-fried egg, chicken sausage, 2 apple chips, 2 banana chips, 2 dried apricot halves, c regular coffee, zinc, magnesium, vitamin D, fish oil
830a-1.5c regular coffee
9a-2oz ham steak, 2 turkey dogs (these are truly delicious, even children will love them, I promise: Applegate Farms)
11a-2oz ham steak, 2 turkey dogs
1230p-salad, 1.5oz pork tenderloin (made by Heather, on the grill, tasted like SUMMER!), 2 fish oil, dandelion root
330p-2 turkey dogs, 2 slices bacon (say it with me: bacon makes everything better)
530p-apple turkey picadillo
730p-the offending 8 almonds & 6 cashews
930p-fish oil, zinc, magnesium, dandelion root
TOTALS: 1472 cal, 74g fat (18 sat), 94g carbs (17 fiber), 117g protein
Note the 6am snacking: this is a reason to put food AWAY inside cupboards. The only things sitting out on your table or counter should be fresh fruits. And maybe not even them. Why? Out of sight, out of mind. Leave something snacky & tasty in your line of sight day after day, and at some point you're going to dive in, regardless of whether or not you are actually hungry. Take willpower out of the equation as often as possible.