Tuesday, September 1

Nutrition:
  • 2 Larabars
  • all the smoked almonds!

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 845p-5a, 85% quality. Weird quality, given I was more awake than not for the final 2 hours. Tossing & turning & as close to H/S/G as I can get, without getting up. Ugh. Got up feeling happy, though, because NSS day!

Healthy Movement: Hip/core felt about the same, nothing really changed from yesterday. Shoulder also about the same. Warm-up in session showed some slight improvement on the left hamstring, so that was a happy note. Shoulder cooperated for pull-ups, although they felt hard again; it was also a touch unstable on bench but it held.

Because James had called NSS for HB in the morning, I got to chat with him for a few seconds, and he ended up calling me back with an appointment opening for TODAY! He laid the blame on primarily my quadratus lumborum & secondarily my sartorius. His twice-a-day prescription: some work to fatigue it, stretch it, some work to fatigue it, stretch it more agressively, massage. He proclaimed optimism because they are muscles, lots of good blood flow gets them healing faster (as opposed to tendons, etc), and all of this should make a difference fairly quickly. I love that man! He told me not to run before I come back on Friday, and also that I may not be running before Superior. Which I can handle; running 15 miles after 2 weeks off will suck it big time, but not more than dragging this pain out by a bunch of attempts at 5, or something foolish.

Fun & Play: NSS. Happy HB chitchat. Everyone was chitchatty today, was an extra fun day. Good talk with chief boss man on work stuff. James visit. Blood donation. Stayed late to make up the James/donation time, and got quite a bit accomplished when I buckled down & hammered it out.

When I prepared payroll on Friday, I put fun little notes into everyone's stub (MK gave me some cool WTF posty notes so they became "Way too fabulous!" & the like), but of course I skipped mine. But tonight when I got home, I saw that Mike put one in for me:

I love that man!


Temperance: Good talk with Chief during session. He complimented me on maintaining my perspective with the injury, my newfound ability to hold it together despite these setbacks, even going all the way back to the hamstring tear timeline. I appreciated that little dose of recognition so very much (Yay, I'm being an adult! Praise me!) because it's hard not to fall apart.

It's hard not to get caught up in thinking that these things that bring so much fulfillment actually define me. I know that they don't. They may help to define me, they most certainly shape me, but they are not who I am. And yet despite knowing that, it's much easier to cave to the feeling that these things are hugely important. It would be so much easier to whine & cry & thrash, but I also know that it's SO MUCH harder to pull myself back up out of that in the end. Like it's a brutally hot day, but I'm taking the long way around a cold, deep, muddy-bottomed pond, because I know the pond will only be a short relief before it turns into far more work than simply walking around it.

I credit this dose of wisdom to years of such battles, the increased sleep, the near-total lack of stress in my life, and the all-knowing mini-Dustin inside my head. I love that man!

Monday, August 31

Nutrition:
  • Larabars: 1
  • Numerous smoked almonds

Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 915p-515a, 76% quality. Felt much better; woke around 445a & dozed there onward, but don't recall any other wake-ups.

Healthy Movement: Hip is about where it was yesterday. Crap! Was really hoping it would have taken another giant leap forward. Hurt more after prolonged sitting unless I was stretched out, like in a recliner. Can't get in to see James until Friday. Mutha. Fuck. Also some tightness in both upper arms, rather weird.

Fun & Play: Slow-moving morning. Productivity at DBB. BK chitchat on Superior logistics. Lots of reading (one has SO much more time for it when not running). Devoted pets. 

Temperance: I instigated the BK chat to give him a heads-up on the hip; should he hear or see that I'm not running, I don't want him to freak out. But he breezed right by it. None of my DMers have shown any concern. There was no Dustin to cry to on Friday. I avoided a breakdown with the hubs. It's feeling weird not to whine & gnash about I; I do crave some sympathy and reassurance. And yet, wise me knows that it's just one more stupid hash mark in the injury tally that will likely never stop until I do, so I am trying to focus on the big picture and see this for the tiny blip it is. Trying to find some resilience to carry me through. It's not easy. And with the hubs now commencing his statewide tour of manure pits, I'm a little worried about my ability to keep my shit together, not get crushed under a narrow perspective. 

Sunday, August 30

Nutrition:
  • sugary PWO French toast (SB, blueberries, honey, ice cream salt, swoooon)

Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 1015p-6a, 87% quality. Solid, but woke around 530a & dozed. Very vivid dreams about giving a tour at the new NSS facility. It was impressive...if only!

Healthy Movement: Hip thing is significantly improved. Feel it up & down steps, and on the SL RDL in warm-up, but just Friday I couldn't even balance upright on my right foot without pain, so it's calming down, whatever it is. Probably still seeing James though. Managed a fairly solid lifting session, with a bit more ROM in the RDLs, which is a sign of the hamstring progressing. Left shoulder is a touch crank, and tight in the upper arm as well. Left big toe tendon seems fine again. Too GD many pain points to mention!

Fun & Play: Slow morning, reading on the deck with coffee in a cool mist. Successful lifting with a happier body. House purging: Pepe's clean trunk is full of Goodwill goodies, and I have less junk sitting around, hooray! Evening reading as well, with all chores knocked out. Decent amount of hubs time before he disappears this week (possibly) to work for like 3 months. Le sigh.

Saturday, August 29

Nutrition:
  • Entire bag of olive oil potato chips
  • Pork jerky
  • Pint AZ

Sleep: 9.75 hours in bed, 845p-630a, 94% quality. Whoa! Graph looks mostly solid, though I felt like I woke constantly. Dogs barked at 1030p (coyotes), and I woke just before 4a but fell back, and that's IT says the graph. Not the body's assessment.

Healthy Movement: Hip/core is slightly better, less sharp; still there on most steps, but not all. Can't isolate what the fuck tendon or muscle this is, either. So, top to bottom: left shoulder still sometimes crank; right core/upper hip seriously inflamed; left hamstring tear (?) still healing; left big toe tendon acting achey. It would have been a beautiful morning for a long run, fall weather in August. Sad times. Frustrating times.

Total rest day again. After the full morning spent sitting, I cleaned Pepe's thickly gravel-dusted innards, which involved a lot of convoluted positioning, most of which I could manage without angering the core, but sometimes I was flinching. After that I raked, which again sometimes angered the core depending on how I was twisted as I walked, but I could squat to pick up the grass clippings without feeling it. I figured that doing all of this on a crap night of sleep, no nap, hungry & thirsty, mentally tanked, was all good pacer training at least!

I do think I'll be able to lift tomorrow, there is that. Most things should be cool. A hip hinge is out unless it improves dramatically by then. Pretty sure I'll be calling James Monday morning, and worst case is probably that I won't run until pacing duties, which would be stellar healing time, sure, but definitely not cool for my mental state. But worrying now fixes nothing, so avoid the things that aggravate and do what doesn't. Not even stretching it now, not while any stretch is still so very painful.

Fun & Play: Sleeping in. Loooots of reading done while Pepe got fixed. A dose of time outside reading before the sun made it too hot. Accomplished a couple of big tasks on my to do list, and now I have a clean car and a slimmer closet to enjoy! Hubs time. Pet time. Bonfire time.

Friday, August 28

Nutrition: Quite curious whether the sugar-laden snacks in the past week are causing inflammation. Something most definitely is.
  • 1 Larabar
  • Trav's


Sleep: 7.75 hours in bed, 915p-5a, 77% quality. Most solid, except every time I rolled over, the hip gave a shout of pain, which woke me up in full. Wide awake at 4a, dozed in/out.

Healthy Movement: This right hip/core thing, holy fuck it's sensitive. I struggled to find a way to walk without it hurting; super upright, chest out, MK-style, seemed to do the trick, most of the time. Also at home, after lying nearly flat & reading, it wasn't so sharp. I blame the sugary, delicious cheezecake. Doesn't it just make sense that something that made me so temporarily happy would be so punishing in the long run? Also, I blame hills. Fuck those motherfucking hills.

Also my left foot hurts a little (that's a 5-year-old injury whining). The left shoulder is fair, but all upper-body muscles are rather sore & tight; not a bad way, but not a "I worked hard enough to cause this" way, either. Hence the curiosity if I can blame sugar.

Fun & Play: Fantastic productivity at NSS. Lunch with Timmy & Mac: fun to catch up with Lisa, hilarious to see Mac claim me as her buddy - but so grateful that Mac is not MY handful to hold. She's super hyper these days. Chitchat with Paige, feeling better about the recent bomb dropped. Quiet time at home.

Thursday, August 27

Nutrition:

  • 2 Larabars
  • half cheezecake


Sleep: 8 hours in bed, 915p-515a, 94% quailty. SOLID.

Healthy Movement: Got up feeling better than I have been. Movement in session was significantly better than Tuesday. Hooray! Went to Andes to cruise with BK & DQ, but that tight right core turned into serious pain. Bad. Wincing. Freaking. Stretching did not offer a relief, but more pain. This is the same area I had problems last year (but right, not left), but that came on slowly and never felt this sharp. Worrisome.

Fun & Play: Gave Dustin his thank-you gift, and he loved it. Received unhappy NSS news, but my input was requested, which made me feel valued; I appreciate that so very much. I like being useful! Had some silliness there at the end of the day. Before the core/hip got so crank, I was enjoying the technical challenge of Andes. Pets desperately in love with me. Hubs time.


Wednesday, August 26

Nutrition:
  • Larabars: 1
  • piece of cheezecake for mama's birthday
  • lunch at truck stop (sketchy prep ingredients)

Sleep: 8.25 hours in bed, 915p-530a, 89% quality. Solid.

Healthy Movement: A bit stiff getting up, but better than I have been. Still, I decided to nix the evening hill, which I'd have crammed in after DBB & before the NSS event, creating some stressful logistics regarding my veggie tray, so fuck it, take a full rest day. I'll get those last GD hills done later. 

Fun & Play: 6 years of Dustin. Productivity at DBB. Lunch with the parents. Evening with my #NSSfamily!